Tin Men

"Oz didn't give nothing to the tin man, that he didn't, didn't already have." -Dewey Bunnell


The Wizard of Oz was on the other night and it triggered memories for my husband.
David played the Cowardly Lion in his sixth grade production of the Wizard of Oz. He was a precocious boy, the kind of kid that C.S. Lewis was, the kind that people wanted to "wipe that look off his face". Giving David that part allowed him to throw his energy into a wildly popular character and perform with raucous abandon. Our neighbor, Ann, was cast as the Scarecrow and a boy who I never met was the Tin Man.

The Tin Man boy had some problems and was teased by some of his classmates. I'm sure his life had happy moments along with the sad, as we all do, but at some point later on in his adult life he committed suicide.

I wonder how many Tin Men out there need to know that they are loved for who they are. I pray- Jesus make it real. Make love real.

We're all tin men.

fa la la la la la la

"It's coming on Christmas. They're cutting down trees."- Joni Mitchell


We have a beautiful Christmas tree that we cut down at a tree farm forty minutes or so from St. Louis. On the way home it was windy and we were concerned that my husbands eagle scout knots wouldn't hold- but they did.

I hosted the annual neighborhood Bunco Christmas party at our country club. I really stress over hosting Anything- even if all I have to do is choose a menu with the help of the incredible woman who's job it is to plan such things. It was wonderful and all of my stress was for naught.

Yesterday my family and I attended the sentencing of someone we love in the Federal Court building in St. Louis. Our friend pleaded guilty to two counts of fraud. He helped some New Zealanders get visas to come here and drive trucks. Our friend saw a need and thought he could fill it by the creative use of the system. Shortly after he was convicted the President said it was ok for some Mexicans to aquire the same type of visa. As Uncle Scar said so eloquently in The Lion King-"Life's not fair."

It's been a busy time.

To See the World in a Fortune Cookie

Can God speak through a Chinese fortune cookie?
I'm not placing my faith in them, but I have had a recent streak of finding them out of the blue. Like on the floor of the 24hour fitness locker room after my yoga workout.

The first message said,"It's not how much money you have, it's what you do with it."

I do stress over money, and the little message prompted me to pick up Suze Orman's book, The Laws of Money- which I own- and was reminded that I am to have power over money, not be a slave to it. Advice to self.

The second one-yes, there were two of them- said,"Believe in yourself and others will believe in you too."

I know in whom I believe, but I don't always believe that He has really called me for anything special. I can definitely fall into the Eeyore category. Oh poor me. Nobody cares about poor old me...

I study God's word. The Living Word. And it is life. It's nice though to get an unexpected- if somewhat goofy message- out of the blue.

Favorite Things

My friend Sharon Hinck wrote about things that ministered to her. "Little treats brought in by the ravens," she called them.
Here are some of mine:
Trips to the St.Louis Zoo or the Missouri Botanical Gardens preceded by pizza at Whole Foods with my children- who are like a band of merry maids and men.
The movie theater at Plaza Frontenac. A cozy old fashioned theater that does not offer stadium seating and plays movies like Miss Potter, Becoming Jane, and The Namesake.
Kennebunkport,Maine in Autumn with my dear husband. Breathe in that ocean air... The whole thing makes me absolutely giddy.(Okay, that's a big treat, but I'm on a roll.)
The smell of lavender and roses.
Yarn.
Felting crocheted things.

When I consider that the creator of the universe made me to respond to good things both small and great; I am overwhelmed. But then He uses the foolish things to confound the wise.

Inhale oxygen. Exhale the peace of the Lord.

I'm Writing A Book

Well, I'm finally doing it. All my life I've wanted to write a novel, and now- I'm actually doing it. It's a first attempt for me, but I want to say to the world, "I'm going for it!"
It's scary. It's slow. I feel awkward and vulnerable. Uncharted territory terrifies me. I know that I have nothing to lose by trying, but still...

For all of you out there in strange places, I wish you Godspeed! Remember-never give up; never give in!
(I feel like a character in "Galaxy Quest").

What's Your Wish?

Dreams are nothing more than wishes and a wish is just a dream you wish to come true. -from "You've Got Mail"

My daughter Elsa and I were talking in the kitchen after lunch on Friday and I noticed a piece of paper the size of a fortune cookie fortune on the floor. Well, it was a fortune cookie fortune which must have fallen out of one of my six or so junk drawers. Hmmm... What does it say, I wondered. "Your dearest wish will come true."
What is my dearest wish? Just as I was thinking this, Elsa said,"You know what I wish?" She did not see me pick up the little message. "You know how Lindsay Lohan and Brittany Spears have so much and don't do anything good with it? Well I wish that I had money enough to go on missions trips and not have to worry about how much it costs."
Now, we believe that God is the provider for everything, but the timing of this incident was so uncanny that I thought it would make a good premise for a story. Yes, it's been done-the wish thing, but this actually happening got me thinking...

What's your wish?

Crazy Love

Take away my trouble, take away my grief, take away my heartache, in the night like a thief...
He gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love-Van Morrison (girl singing version)

Crazy love doesn't make any sense. Noah Webster's 1828 dictionary defines crazy as broken, decrepit, weak or the state of being broken in mind. My emotions can be so intense that "crazy" seems to fit . So I keep them to myself, or maybe I throw some thoughts out there -like now- to see if there are others like me, looking for connection. C.S. Lewis said "I read to know I'm not alone." Technically I know I'm not alone. I've attended seminars, read books, and I pray. Yet, at times, I feel like an outsider in my world- face pressed against the glass barrier of disconnect.

It didn't make any sense for Jesus to die an excruciating and lonely death simply because he loved me. But it was the only way that I could ultimately connect with divine love.
It was crazy, really.